Dude, every day these words would come out of my mouth; “I’m not gonna do it again,” as I throw the sharp object away. Then a few moments or days later, I would go purchase whatever I needed or turn my apartment upside down to find something to use. This was a never ending flipping crazy train I was on but made total sense at the time. I know you’ve all been there with something in your life. There’s this seeded pain, this ugly standing water that sits in the soul and next thing you know, it’s leaking everywhere.
Without confidence, we stumble. Without bravery, the other side will never rise up. I believe that pain keeps rearing its ugly head because we still need to be taught something. For a long time my confidence was lost and my bravery was non-existent because of fear. Pain was comfort and letting go of it meant….well….I didn’t know, which was why I didn’t want to let go. You get this, I know you all do. First of all, doing the work to tidy up the insides just seems exhausting, especially right now. Everything is flipped upside down in our lives and honestly, nothing feels right or solid. BUT, that’s exactly why it’s a pretty perfect time to get grounded and to do some weeding. Second, who really wants to hang on for dear life while the crazy train just keeps spinning faster. When standing on the cross, we know that the other side brings freedom. The uncertainty of what’s going around us causes the unresolved pain deep inside to show its nasty self. It mimics feelings that we’ve felt before like anxiety, anger, sadness. We cannot decide to stand on those feelings and wavering pain. It’s gonna fail us every time. I truly believe that in this time we are living in, we need to stand in the bravery of the eternal sword. I told you all to check out Psalm 46. Hands down my go to. I have Psalm 46:5 tattooed on me, “God is in the midst of her; she will not be moved; God will help her in the early dawn.” Your pain from your past or present does not own you. WHO owns you is what really matters. When Christ lives inside of you, that standing, nasty water turns into solid rock. You suddenly feel lighter, braver, more confident.
Hurt can change you friends but it’s your choice to make that a good or bad change. It will keep popping up if you allow it too. I encourage you today to dig. Dig in and get that nasty crap out. Forgive where you need to, cry when you need too, and release it. God’s got you friend. He really does.
“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.””