I couldn’t breathe. I almost woke up my hubby but then I was like, nah, I’m ok. Because that’s how we roll right? We all don’t ask for help very easily. I honestly thought maybe it was just an addition to the cold I had. My thought was it was probably heading into my chest and I just needed some medicine. Let’s fast forward to after the cold went away and the elephant on my chest still remained. I knew exactly what was going on. Crap. Here it is again. Anxiety. Panic attacks. Ugh. Rough. They are rough friends. Anxiety blows. I truly believe everyone has experienced it on some level. There are a few of us that get kicked in the butt a bit harder.
When things outside of our control start to feel like they are spiraling, I find that’s when the elephant likes to rear its ugly head. As I continue to dig deeper into the loss of pieces torn off my soul from the abuse, I realize I’m in this unknown territory, hence the feeling of no control. What does life look like without the hurt? What do I feel about myself? What am I gonna do when I grow up? haha BUT step back friends. Let’s step back a moment. Unknown territory. This could be exciting. When we hit a place where we let go of what’s causing the elephant to exist in our lives, we get to start a new chapter. Fresh pages. Nothing on them. It’s really not a loss of control but yet a new control. It’s all in our mind set. How we look at our moving forward will determine how our next chapter will look. I know I’ve used this verse before but I really don’t care cause I love it ha! Isaiah 43:19 “Be Alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.” Brand new! New chapter! Fresh start! He’s doing something. Stupid elephants, tigers, and bears will come out and try to steal your joy but in the end, you will not be defeated. For your ending is well, never ending because it’s got a Jesus stamp all over it.
Shifting our mind set is huge. What are we truly seeing? Fear is a liar. Fear traps us and makes us believe we can’t move forward. Fear stops us in our tracks so the next chapter of beauty, renewing, joy, can’t be written. Fear can control you. Don’t let that dirty jerk of a thing even see the light of day in the name of Jesus. You deserve everything Jesus and this beautiful earth has to offer. Big things are in store for every chapter in your book. Remember, every chapter, each season will look different yet has purpose and can have joy depending on how you read and perceive it.
“You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are full of yesterday’s junk.”