God, Are You Mad?

Zephaniah 3:17 (Amplified)

“The Lord your God is in your midst, a Warrior who saves.

He will rejoice over you with joy; He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.”

I’ve struggle with this lately which is crazy to me because I know the truth.  I know that God is a God of love, kindness, peace, and pure beauty yet my mind goes there. I know that some may see Him as this big man upstairs pointing the finger at all we do wrong etc but that’s not what I struggle with.  For the record, that is not truth. If He were really like that, His finger would fall off from shaking it so much with the craziness of this world. Just say’n. I struggle more with, like, God, I know I’m not perfect but I’m sitting in some heavy poop and I just need you to throw me a bone. It’s when you feel like He’s silent.  That’s when I start to think, maybe He’s mad at me. I mean, I’ve done some not so great things in life, but that’s not it either. Here’s what it is. If He’s suppose to be crazy in love with me, wouldn’t he immediately pull me out of the fire? Those times when I was as a little girl, frozen, not understanding what is happening….why didn’t He stop it? I’m sure each of you right now can think of a time or maybe even you’re living it, where you questions, why? If you love me so much then why aren’t you saving me? Did I tick you off, God?

I don’t have a perfect answer but I can tell you this. If God would have rescued me from those horrible situations or situations where I thought I should be rescued, I wouldn’t be here today writing. I wouldn’t have 4 beautiful kiddos, or a husband who stands along side of me. I wouldn’t know what is was like to be truly loved, or to have amazing friends, or to even have confidence, or to be able to love others back. If he would have rescued me in those situations when I immediately asked, I would be a selfish brat right now, living a shallow life.  Think about it. If we would give our kids everything they asked for, they would love and appreciate nothing. They wouldn’t know how to have feelings. There’s something inside of us that changes when we have to look the darkness head on. We have a choice which I believe God allows us to have. We either fight and take him with us, or we cry and whine cause we want it our way. Now, I’ve done both, I’ll be real here, and definitely never got it my way. In the end, I still needed to take the deep crap head on and cling onto His arms. Because of it, I’m better, stronger, more powerful, thicker skinned, and ready to kick this world in the you know what, in the name of Jesus of course. When we allow ourselves to feel the pain and let go of what we think should happen, we start seeing what He’s doing. Please understand, I’m totally not minimizing whatever you have or are going through, but friend, it’s time we take this head on. He’s not mad at us at all. He hates that we are having to endure any of it BUT He’s waiting for us to take His hand in it. Let’s do ,t together.

“God’s love is like an ocean, you see it’s beginning, but not it’s end.”