Loneliness Can Creep In

Hebrews 13:5b & 6 (The Message)

God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” we can boldly quote,

God is there, ready to help; I’m fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?

A while back,  God decided for me to reveal and very, very large deep rooted painful secret of my past.  Do you like how I said ‘God decided’? Pretty much because I would have held it probably forever yet he had a different plan. As I’ve mentioned in other devo’s, I had been sexual abused as a child and been holding onto that pain and struggle for the majority of my life, feeling the need to protect everyone around me. God opened the door one day for this to come to light, which only He could’ve done but the response from those closely effected had sent me on an emotional roller coaster to say the least. There had been anger, denial, tears, love, hate, bitterness, encouragement, support, and the list goes on.  In the end, the most difficult one I felt was loneliness.

I’ve had to grieve the loss and change of relationships, blood relationships, relationships that I thought for sure, after the truth was spoken, would completely change and be made whole.  Untying and releasing them had caused me to feel left alone when I was the one who spoke the truth. Truth that was suppose to set me free. Please don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change speaking the truth for anything.  I now can live with no secrets, no heaviness, complete and total release of carrying the consequences of others, and use it to help others. Yet the lonely part surprised me. I’m surrounded by a mass of Godly women who have known and loved me through.  I have a husband and kiddos that would die for me so what on earth? Yet I kept feeling like, wasn’t I the one who was suppose to walk away feeling empowered and strong. A ‘Can’t touch this’, type of feel. (You’re singing the song! hehe)

Ok, so at this point I’m like, Heather, step back a minute, and start speaking some REAL truth here. So many around us are going to feel and believe, the most life altering, difficult situations, out of their pain and wounds. In my situation and in situations that you will face, those around us may not respond the way we thought or hoped.  BUT our Father will NEVER walk away and will NEVER leave me or YOU!!! WE ARE FEARLESS because of that!!!! We do not have to walk in the lonely part of our hearts but instead in the strength of a warrior! NO ONE can get to us! I need to keep using big letters cause I’m screaming at myself while I’m writing this to you! We need to hear this today! Over and over again!  It’s another one of those things where what you thought the ending would be, is not what God had the ending be. One of those times where you are like, God, my ending totally rocked, why didn’t you use it. Because no matter what, even if I don’t see it all right now, His ending is better and for my own good. Loneliness is not from Him. So that ugly guy needs to be prayed about, worked through, and tossed out. He never walks away! WE ARE FEARLESS! And scene…… 🙂

Who has let you down?  Who has walked away in your life that has hurt you beyond belief, enough to make you question if God will also walk away? He see, He hears, He Knows.

“Be fearless in a pursuit of what sets your soul on fire. For you are a mighty warrior, a child of God.”

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