Stupid Covid! That’s our saying here at the Follett house. If anything goes wrong, we just blame it on Covid, ha. I went for the second time to get tested. Seriously, they dig your brains out until it oozes out of your eyeballs. The End. Needless to say, my children are not big fans. They also had to go a second time and my youngest lost it. He kept it semi together until that long cotton swab came out. Dude, a beast came out of him, flaring his arms everywhere, kicking and screaming. I’m like sitting on him, holding his arms down, trying to hold his head. He totally threw me to the ground, that’s how crazy it got. The nurse was like, “maybe we should just reschedule.” Now, she was trying to be so calm and sweet to me while I was like, “no way, he’s doing this!” I was losing it and I can be honest with you guys cause I know you’ve all been there. I told him his consequences would be ridiculous in the nasty tone that moms can get while looking at the nurse informing her I do not beat my children. I’m totally rolling my eyes at myself right now because looking back, I was the one who was the monster. The poor kid was scared to death because he already went through it and knows exactly what was gonna happen. Finally, I let it go and he didn’t do the test but I was still fuming. It wasn’t until our ride home that I came to grips with the fact that the anger and frustration had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me.
I’m so angry and frustrated with how this pandemic has flipped our lives upside down. I know that our eyes need to be focused on Christ and the good things that are surrounding us but for the love, there are just days where it doesn’t work like that. I’m not saying it’s right, just saying it’s real and where I’m at. I will say that the person I saw in myself yesterday was nasty. I sure didn’t like her. It opened my eyes to the effect that this has had but also, the control it can have over me. Like, I can’t control what’s happening out in this crazy world, but I can still love, be kind, help others, be grateful. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be all flowery and full of cute bunny rabbits, I’m just saying that when I walked away from that day, I wanted to be better, let go, look at what’s in front of me and what truly matters. My son not getting the test that day was not gonna make or break our lives but what would have a lasting effect is the way I act and react. Don’t worry, I’m past the guilt because that’s not from Jesus, but I did learn. Read this, John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
I, we, need to stop allowing the world to control us, our feelings, our thoughts. Our peace isn’t gonna come from anywhere out there. Instead, we redirect our eyeballs to better and peaceful things of Christ and what He’s given us. Surely there’s something surrounding you that is better than Covid, ha. It’s not like you aren’t gonna have bad days or lose your crap like I did BUT the more we learn how to focus our thoughts, the more we sit in peace.
“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.”