We had a tree in our backyard. I remember loving to escape to it. There were only a few branches that you could really hang out on so once you got your spot, you needed to stay put. Many thoughts, tears, internal conversations happened while up there. The one constant thought when making my way up was, you’re totally gonna feel me on this one, what if I was a bird. I could fly anywhere I wanted at any time. Then your mind would wander into, where would those places be? Now, as an adult, let’s talk about how that place would be a beach…..the end. Can I get an Amen?!
Escaping…..seems easier than facing the reality of life sometimes. Everyone has their way of doing it. Numbing it, ignoring it, laughing it off, whatever it may be, we all do it AND we all know deep down, it isn’t helping us. There’s no way to move forward into what Christ has in store if we are constantly shoving down the very thing he’s trying to heal. Strong men and women are made by the storms that they walk through, not by dodging the lightning or thunder that comes with them. The hard conversations that needs to be had, the tears that need to be shed, the band aids that need to be ripped off, the honest truth that needs to be faced head on, blows. I’m just being real. It sucks at first BUT the outcome far outweighs the heaviness that first needs to be walked through. How can we ever hit that place of seeing true beauty in everything when we are sitting in pure ugh. There was a piece of me that honestly didn’t want to allow anyone into my cutting. It was my numbing, my escape, it was MINE! If I allowed the truth to come out, people would help me overcome it and maybe I wasn’t ready. Sounds crazy I know but I’m pretty sure you can relate on some level. What is it that holds you back from living a full life that God has created you to live? What are you holding onto? I love this and had someone share it with me when I was going through some tough times, “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12.
It’s not the trial that our eyes need to stay focused on, it’s who’s walking along side of us in that trial. It’s then that our eyes don’t stay fixated on the darkness but instead the light that the future holds. None of this is easy friends. I’m preaching to myself like always. I’m awesome at shutting down and numbing any and all situations but I’m learning that doing it, lets the darkness win. I’m so not in the mood for that to happen so change needs to take place. Who’s with me?
“We don’t develop courage by being happy everyday. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”
2 thoughts on “Peace Out”
I remember when my abuse was happening and I’d dissociate and be up above my body, I remember thinking, if only I could fly, where would I go. I used to do it in my minds eye whilst the abuse was going on, and I got so good at it. xoxo
I totally get it. My heart goes out to you and your healing journey my friend. Much love!
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