Anyone else just feeling completely blah. Almost like I’m not sure what to feel. I find it difficult to find words lately. As I’m sitting here typing, I’m thinking back to other times when I felt this loveliness (enter eye roll). Unsure. Confused. Lost. I was in junior high. We had gone on a mission trip with my youth group. When I came home, I had a million bites on my legs. They spread like crazy and we had no idea what they were. A few days later, they started to disappear but then I noticed that different parts of my body would swell up like a balloon at weird times. It was crazy. If I would hold something cold, my hand would swell or if I was outside in the cold, whatever wasn’t covered would swell. This. Was. Bizarre. We started going to doctors showing them with an ice cube what would happen. I placed the ice cube on my arm and just that little section would swell. No one could figure out what the heck was happening. They all assumed that whatever bug bites I came back with had a reaction inside my body. One weekend I was on a boat tubing with my friend. I got in the boat all wet and the cold air from riding in the boat caused my whole body to swell including my throat. It was scary. Thankfully it started coming down but I had to stay in bed all day because my feet were so swollen I couldn’t walk. In the end, they finally diagnosed me with Cold Induced Urticaria. I was allergic to the cold. Now isn’t that the craziest thing you’ve ever heard. Leave it to me to get something completely foreign. Ha!
It was such a scary time. I couldn’t be in air conditioning. Every piece of me had to be covered in the winter. It got me out of riding the bus though since I couldn’t wait in the cold. That was nice. For such a long time I was so confused, unsure, afraid. We had no idea what was happening and no clue what the answer was. Sound familiar? Kind of like right now. The answers are unclear. The direction of our lives are completely thrown up in the air. A great cause for an emotion called blah, right? And you know what? It’s ok to feel that. I think we are all in the same boat. Ya know what my thought was back then? I totally was doing something for Jesus and I got a crazy disease. That was confusing and frustrating but unfortunately there’s a dark side in this world. One that wants to defeat and destroy us. While living in the blah is ok for a time, the hope of Christ has to begin to out way all the ugly. Thankfully my allergy went into remission which I guess happens. You never know when it can come back but I haven’t seen any signs up until this point which means God is protecting me. He’s doing that today too, for all of us. Although this crazy time is just that, crazy, the protection and hope of Christ is our firm foundation. It’s what we need to keep coming back to when thoughts of confusion and fear come into play. All time fav verse, Isaiah 40:31, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Hang in their sweet friends. We are in this together.
“At the end off the day, all you need is hope and strength. Hope that it will get better and strength to hold on until it does.”