Closeness


James 4:8 (Amplified Bible)

“Come close to God and He will come close to you.”

Music has been a part of my life since I feel like I took my first breath. I started piano when I was 5. Some years later I was told I had a voice too, ha. Gosh, I don’t think I’d be here if it weren’t for music. I got lost in it constantly.  It was my only escape with all the pain and secrets I was holding onto. I remember going to my church with no one there, sitting at the piano, and playing like no one existed. Many times I would belt out songs, worship songs, hymns, and bawl my eyes out. It wasn’t until later that I realized these moments I had was my soul touching His. I would feel so close to him that I could barely breathe.  As time went on, I became known for music. My identity was wrapped in it. That’s how everyone around me knew me. The innocence of my deep encounters were losing their power. The one thing that was mine, the one thing that wasn’t getting infected by pain, was now being taken. I began to ‘do’ music to please everyone else. Fast forward to now. I had to really dig deep and come back to what music was for me. The one and only place where I feel like nothing else exists, like i am flying on wings, where pain can not touch, is on stage worshiping.  I’m so close to God during this time that you could spit in my face and my hands would stay raised. Although I may deck you after I was done with the song but nonetheless, hands would stay up!

Here’s the thing, yes, worship/music for me is my ‘come close to God’ moment but that doesn’t mean it’s yours. BUT….you need to find it. His heart is so beautiful towards us that He longs to have these moments with us. Maybe you are a nature lover. I can’t stand bugs so I’d complain to God about why He even made them! Wouldn’t bring me very close to Him. But maybe you feel like nothing can touch you when you are on a walk, just you and Him. I truly believe that He gives us passion for certain thing so that we can see how passionate He is about us. Finding those times, those places where you are so close to Him that no one can touch you, allows you to hold onto Him and look back when crap hits the fan.

This is important for me to say.  You must remember, my closeness with God could look completely different from yours. There’s no right or wrong.  He meets us exactly where we are at individually. He knows how to reach and connect with each one of us so no comparing. Promise? K great!

Where is your place of closeness with God?  If you don’t have one yet, that’s ok. Start digging in your heart for past experiences or times where you were lost in Him. Grab onto those and keep going back.  You won’t want to rest anywhere else.

“God loves you more in a moment that anyone could in a lifetime”

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